Ssssh
It's not a secret post
It's when the shit hits the fan. I should have join the freak show with the shits all over me.
I keep saying to myself. You stink!

Because happiness is a fairy word.

we are going to .....kong.

hahaha king-kong

I am sleepy and tired

I want my bed

Clouds - Zach Sobiech

Well I fell down, down, down
Into this dark and lonely hole
There was no one there to care about me anymore
And I needed a way to climb and grab a hold of the edge
You were sitting there holding a rope

And we'll go up, up, up
But I'll fly a little higher
We'll go up in the clouds because the view is a little nicer
Up here my dear
It won't be long now, it won't be long now

When I get back on land
Well I'll never get my chance
Be ready to live and it'll be ripped right out of my hands
Maybe someday we'll take a little ride
We'll go up, up, up and everything will be just fine

And we'll go up, up, up
But I'll fly a little higher

We'll go up in the clouds because the view is a little nicer
Up here my dear

It won't be long now, it won't be long now
If only I had a little bit more time
If only I had a little bit more time with you

We could go up, up, up
And take that little ride
And sit there holding hands
And everything would be just right
And maybe someday I'll see you again
We'll float up in the clouds and we'll never see the end

And we'll go up, up, up
But I'll fly a little higher
We'll go up in the clouds because the view is a little nicer
Up here my dear
It won't be long now, it won't be long now

-------

UpUpUp. 

Read more about Zach : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/zach-sobiech-clouds

Bawa tissue! =D

I am a pathetically helplessly dramatic romantic bit.

I wept easily to a song, laughter from a child, a pat from a brother, a broken heart-ed best friend tears, a squeeze from a lover when we exchanging the mug, a warm sun after a storm, thank you muttered from a stranger, love birds tangled hands,

And today, I wept to Sting’s Kate & Leopold’s Ost.

"Until"

If I caught the world in a bottle
And everything was still beneath the moon
Without your love would it shine for me?
If I was smart as Aristotle
And understood the rings around the moon
What would it all matter if you loved me?

Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends
Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing would I fear
Except when this moment comes near the dancing's end

If I caught the world in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon so we could ride
Until the stars grew dim, Until...

One day you’ll meet a stranger
And all the noise is silenced in the room
You’ll feel that you're close to some mystery
In the moonlight and everything shatters
You feel as if you’ve known her all your life
The world’s oldest lesson in history

Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends
Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing do I fear
Except when this moment comes near the dancing’s end

Oh, if I caught the world in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon and we would ride
Until the stars grew dim
Until the time that time stands still, Until...

*GRIN*

Pada jamannya....

"But you're denied 'cause your brain's fried from the sac
And there ain't nothing I can do
'Cause life is a lesson, you'll learn it when you're through"

---

Take a look around - Limp Bizkit

There's a sister on a sinister.

I lost the words

I unable to count the mileages

Is this what we do, throwing the bombs in the name of love.

selamat hari senin

a sipped of hot strong brought me tears

Zipped

How hard it is for one to shut their mouth?
What is the bottom temperature for a cold cold heart?
Rip it, stomp it in your feet.
It's a clear statement.
I don't have any.

Fairy tale.
I'm the pollo loco.
I'm gonna drink the cuervo straight through the bottom of it.
Hit me hard.
I don't think I want another day.

Rest in peace.
I thought my father was a diabetic, appearantly he was blind too.

Once it's amused me, now it's disgust me.

Why can't people just go if they don't have any other reasons to stay?

I always been naively thought if you're staying then you want to work it out.

I just wish I knew it earlier, so I don't misinterpret my head.

Indeed, I know I'm the one who have the problem.

Cukup?

Tertatih mengisi ruang-ruang hatimu.
Sudah?
'Belum. Mungkin kamu tak akan cukup', pedihku terjawab
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Slippery

It keeps slipping out of my brain.
My memories.
Who is the nemesis? Who is the arc enemies?
How does it feel to completely trusting someone?
A pure joy from a morning breeze.
The green scents from the 1st leaves.
It keeps slipping out.
I am pathological liar for myself, I keep telling it that everything gonna be OK.
I know I am not.
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Saving Grace - Cranberries

I sung this song to myself : 

It could happen here today
It could happen here today
And I can't wait to see your face
No I can't wait to see your face

Can you hold on while I take hold of myself
Can you hold on while I take hold of myself

You're the little thing, my saving grace
You're just a little thing, my saving grace

It could happen here today
It could happen here today
You are my saving grace
You are my saving grace

Will you be strong while I take hold of myself
Will you be strong while I take hold of myself

You're the little thing, my saving grace
You're just a little thing, my saving grace

It could happen here today
It could happen here today
You are my saving grace

You are my saving grace 

Kalau ku membenci, biasanya kubawa sampai mati. 

Layang-layang

Selayaknya layang-layang, sekali tak punya tuan yg memegang, tak diulur tali ataupun direnggang.
Melayang.
Pasrah pada angin.
Selayak terbang.
Menunggu angin jenuh dan layang-layang terjatuh.

**pada layang-layang
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Andaaaaaiii

...
Berandai-andai...
Kalau papa masih ada jam segini sama-sama belum bisa tidur,
Bikin indomie, ngopi bareng.
Atau..
Langsung pergi ke gudeg permata, membunuh waktu.
My Pop would order gudeg tahu krecek.
..
Tapi..

='(

--- I just miss my dad, I wish God would forgive me for this.
Udah dipanggil ke tempat enak masih dikangenin.
Ga nyalahin Tuhan kok, cuma kangen.
Nyuwun dijembar'ke sarean Papa nggih, Gusti. Amin.
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Pak AHA

Kangen Papaku.
Berantem eyel2an lagi ga papa deh.
Kesel2an gara2 dia sok tau, ga papa.
Gondok karena suka jorok buang sampah depan kamarnya. Ga papa
Apa aja deh.
Tapi Pak RW 03 udah tenang sekarang kan ya.
Nangis dikit ga papa kan ya?
Kangen doang, Pa.
Salam buat Mbah Tir kakung, mbah BuTir, Pakde Karno, Om Bin, dkk.

I love you, Pa.
I wish I have the chances to say it more often in my life.

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and so what?

Been thinking a lot lately. 

Eh gue mah mikir mulu deng, apa - apa juga dipikirin.

Yang baru kepikiran I am a late bloomer, temen - temen gue udah kemana - mana , gue masih di situ- situ aja.

Temen - temen gue maksudnya orang - orang yang gue kenal deket, gue looked up, gue jadiin patokan.

Suka ngerasa "man...idup macam apa iniih. masih berkutat sama hal-hal yang sama dari 7 tahun belakangan"

Tapi terus gue mikir lagi, and so what?

Terus apa? Terus kenapa kalo gue beda sama mereka?

Porsinya manusia beda - beda. I am looking for the fullest of my life. not the life according to someone else's life.

**bersyukur karena at least gue masih hidup, masih punya kesempatan untuk ngerasain disayang, dicintai, dirindukan, diinginkan.

I wish I have the guts

It's been 2 hours I sit on the same toilet seat, before I helplessly sobbing. The life that I should cherished.
The love that I should be grateful for.
The edge.
It's not the death that I'm afraid the most. But the burden to disposed my remain body.
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Oh dear god
You're so useless. You could be the best example of a woman I won't ever be.

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So goodnight and go

I think I am gonna die tonight

I'll put everything down.

For I am a coward

For I don't anything good on me.

I think I am gonna let go.

I think I am gonna stop,

good words