Mad

And she turns in to a destructive machine.
She hits the demolition buttons.
Without even thinking, she's destroying everything.
'I hate it all' , she whispered and laughing uncontrollably.
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Bruises I wear on my sleeves

hey Mr. Morrison would you please sing me this song?

"I Won't Let You Go"

When it's black
Take a little time to hold yourself
Take a little time to feel around before it's gone
You won't let go but you still keep on falling down
Remember how you save me now from all of my wrongs
Yeah

If there's love just feel it
And if there's life we'll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go

Say those words
Say those words like there's nothing else
Close your eyes and you might believe
That there is some way out
Yeah

Open up
Open up your heart to me now
Let it all come pouring out
There's nothing I can't take

And if there's love just feel it
And if there's life we'll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go
(Won't let you go)
(Won't let you go)

If your sky is falling
Just take my hand and hold it
You don't have to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go
(Won't let you go)
(Won't let you go)

And if you feel the fading of the light
And you're too weak to carry on the fight
And all your friends that you count on have disappeared
I'll be here not gone, forever holding on

If there's love just feel it
And if there's life we'll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go
(Won't let you go)
(Won't let you go)

If your sky is falling
Just take my hand and hold it
You don't have to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go
(Won't let you go)
(Won't let you go)

I won't let you go
I won't let
I won't let you go
No, I won't let
I won't let you go
I won't let you go

I don't quite sure what is really happened to me.

They say that I need a shrink, well sometimes I think what I really need is an escape from the life.

I can't connect with the feeling, I can't take maybe. 

I doubted everything related with the emotions.

Do I really feel it?

Does it really exist?

Who are you?

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see
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It meant to be a journal.
I am so sad.
I dig my arm with my nails I don't even realized it.
I want my bed.
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I am so freaking tired, I don't think I have energy to suicide.
Shot me. Please.
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Numb.
Noners. Unexplainable. Me. Blah
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Sature

Duduk sendirian siang di Food Court di salah satu pusat perbelanjaan di Ibu Kota.
Gue menyeret kursi ke arah pilar, mengubah sedikit tatanan mereka, mencari tempat untuk menyandarkan punggung. Menghadap jendela-jendela kaca besar yang menyuguhkan padatnya pemukiman di sekitar mall ini.

Meja kayu hijau berlapis vynil, kursi berbentuk U terbalik tanpa sandaran. Segelas es shanghai di mangkuk bulat, dengan sirop merah jambu. Jaket, buku, sebungkus kotak langsing berisi lintingan tembakau dan geretan oranye. Asbak gue buat dari salah satu halaman agenda kerja.

Sendiri. Sesak. Berfikir.
Headset sudah ku lepas dari telinga, ternyata lagu ga membantu, malah bikin tambah riuh.

30 tahun, di sabtu siang, perut sedikit melilit. (Haha - note : yang paling gue ga suka dari duduk sendirian di suatu tempat adalah tiba-tiba harus ke toilet dan ga ada orang yang bisa dititipi barang-barang lo)

Okay.
Memutuskan untuk meninggalkan buku, es dan rokok, menitipkan ke mas-mas disitu supaya jangan diberesin dulu. Ngacir berdamai dengan perut .

Memikirkan orang-orang tertentu yang saat ini (mungkin juga) sedang sibuk dengan urusan masing-masing.

Kalian. Saya. Apa yang terjadi?

Laughter, kisses,hugs, discarded cards, folded envelopes, return calls.
Scarred. Dreams. Layers.

Gue takut dengan masa yang akan datang.

Bukan dengan siapa. Tapi apa yang akan gue lakukan dengan apa yang gue punya.
Satu-satu. Seharusnya. Bukan sekaligus. Bukan semua.

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