BlackSheep by Metric

Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when
Our common goal was waiting for the world to end
Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend
You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again

i'll send you my love on a wire
Lift you up, everytime, everyone, ooo, pulls away, ooo
From you

Got balls of steel, got an automobile, for a minimum wage
Got real estate, I'm buying it all up in outerspace
Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend
You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick, the past again

I'll send you my love on a wire
Lift you up, everytime, everyone, ooo, pulls a way, oo
Mechanical bull, the number one
You'll take a ride from anyone, everyone wants a ride, pulls away, oooh from you

 

* you guys should hear Brie Larson perform the song. A fucking some.

Karaokean kaga jelas kayanya jadi menu keluarga gue.
Bukan org manado ataupun batak tapi hobi hura2 dan drama.
Gue musti packing diri gue dengan baik sebelum cuz. Hahaha. If u only knw what I mean.
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#i-think (teteup hastag hits)

Punya account di jejaring sosial bikin manja.

Jadi banci curhat. Diomelin bos-ngetweet. Berantem ama pacar - ngeplurk.

Keujanan - Kesandung- Kejedot-update status di facebook. hahaha.

Ah, saya bencong sekali.

Punya harga diri kek.Jangan bentar2 update. Orang juga males kali liat emosi labil.

Cerita yang bermutu. Jangan gue-gue-gue dan gue.

Ayo ngeblog dengan harga diri. Jangan curhat mulu 

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

There's time gue kaya Homer, bingung sendiri di suatu kondisi yang sebenarnya udah clear.

 

 

 

For you, B

I don't wanna reach the sky

I just wann feel that high

 

 

--

Coba kau tunjuk satu bintang
S'bagai pedoman langkah kita
Jabat erat hasil karyaku…
Hingga terbias warna syahdu
Akan ku ukir satu kisah tentang kita
Dimana baik dan buruk terangkum oleh indah
Akan ku cerna semua karya cipta kita
Dimana hitam dan putih terbalut oleh hangatnya cinta
Dan bila semua terwujudkan...
Di sisimu s'lalu hariku

(Tunjuk satu bintang, S07)

 

--

In whatever it gonna takes, you will be my best friend and i'll be yours.

BFF kan berantem juga,B. Tanya aja thu tetangga. hehe.

Gue orang yang sangat percaya masa depan (ya iyalah), I mean waktu akan dengan cepat menggilas semuanya. Baik rasa seneng maupun rasa sakit.

Jadinya di setiap masalah gue, biasanya untuk nguatin diri sendiri, gw masih percaya besok ada hari baru, masalah baru. Jadi kenapa berlama-lama di masalah yang sama?
Daripada gue numpukkin masalah, ngebawa-bawa beban dari persoalan sebelumnya, yang ternyata emang ga bisa gue kelarin. I'll dropped it. Apalagi kalo ada saingan persoalan baru yang lebih fresh dan butuh tenaga.

Cumaaa, kadang kebiasaan gue terlalu percaya waktu itu terus berkejaran, bikin gue suka lupa, idup ga melulu tentang persoalan. Gue suka lupa kalo waktu juga nisbi. Relatif. Gue lupa untuk nikmati waktu. Gue ga inget 1 tahun yang lalu gue lagi ngapain, punya masalah apa, dapat rejeki apa, ga inget apakah 1 desember tahun kemarin gue senyum, gue nangis, sehat atau sakit.

Gue melupakan kesenangan-kesenangan kecil. Idup gue antara kerja, bayar tagihan, menuhin kewajiban, bikin gendut badan,tidur.
Gue suka lupa nyengir nginget pertama kali kenalan karena orangnya tokh udah jadi sahabat gue. Lupa ngucap syukur bangun pagi masih napas. Pagi2 yang gue pikirin , sigh another day to fight. Padahal seharusnya its another day to cherish.
Gue harusnya lebih balance, gue harusnya juga nyadar, waktu juga bikin gue menikmati banyak hal gal cuma sekedar melaluinya.

Tadi gue baru nonton Babies, film yang sangat humanis. I love kids and i believe I'm just a kid inside, jadi its very easy to me to laugh with them. Takjub akan small things. Amazing the babies sangat menikmati waktu mereka, entah mereka frustasi or happy, they're content with it.
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Dan takkan kubiarkan ku meratap senja
Saat kau harus pulang ke pelukan malam.

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Chicago is two years ago - Fall Out Boy

My heart is on my sleeve
Wear it like a bruise or blackeye
My badge, my witness
That means that I believed
Every single lie you said

Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you
And every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you

But there's a light on in Chicago
And I know I should be home
All the colors of the street signs
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

She took me down and said,
"Boys like you are overrated, so save your breath."
Loaded words and loaded friends
Are loaded guns to our heads

Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you
And every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you

But there's a light on in Chicago
And I know I should be home
All the colors of the street signs
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

You want apologies
Girl, you might hold your breath
Until your breathing stops forever, forever
(...every pane of glass) the only thing you'll get
Is this curse on your lips:
(every pane of) I hope they taste of me forever

And there's a light on in Chicago (every pane of glass)
And I know I should be home (every pane of)
All the colors of the street signs (every pane of glass!)
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's

With every breath I wish your body will be broken again, again
With every breath I wish your body would be broken again, again
With every breath I wish your body will be broken again, again
With every breath I wish your body would be broken again

the sugar baby

and now it is going to be my fault.

I know.

It is me.

 

is this tears?

no it's not

it's your heart

jangan menungguku, kamu akan terbakar jemu

kepada sakit ku sampaikan pesan

bawa semuanya

kepada luka keberikan kabar

aku menunggu pagi datang

kepadamu aku hembuskan

sisa nafas yang bisa tertarik dada

 

*saat pagi menjelang

pledge for today

i let you go, all

i don't care

i don't give a fuck

just go.

The Fray - Never Say Never

Some things we don't talk about
better do without
just hold a smile
we're falling in and out of love
the same damn problem

together all the while
you can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go

picture, you're the queen of everything
as far as the eye can see
under your command
i will be your guardian
when all is crumbling
steady your hand

you can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go

we're falling apart
and coming together again and again
we're coming apart
but we pull it together
pull it together, together again

don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go(x2)

Oh happpppppppppy daaaaaaaaaaaay!epic!
@jakarta,19 Nov 2010
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19.11.2010 (it goes well on math funct)

hal yang diremind hari ini :

FACE THE RISK.

 

Happy birthday to me. It's just another story 'eh?

 

Senja yang membebaskan.

Kenapa memanggilku senja?

karena kamu yang selalu mengajakku pulang

kamu yang menandai saat siang beranjak malam

Kamu yang menggamit lengan bintang dan mengajaknya mengasuh rembulan

Kamu bukan si gelap malam

Dan kamu bukan si terik siang

Kamu senja..

Senja yang membebaskan

 

#1R

Kami memang kumpulan pendusta

Dan kau bilang, kau siapa?

Aku mengenalmu dari  sana, kumpulan yang sama.

#mulutmu ya mulutmu.

Poetically Pathetic - Amber Pacific

I'm Thinking of the words to say,
I'd like to think that this was fate.
Reference to a song you love,
Spell confusion with a "K"
Like a star without its strings,
I'm hanging here on these two wings.
For that smile and those eyes
I'm falling

If time could stop, how could I make this more poetic?
When there's nothing more pathetic to be said

You bring me out, show me light,
I'm sorry if I hide, I'm too afraid to look inside.
You carry truth, and make me smile.
If there were you and me tonight,
I would tame the stars and save the brightest one for you,
For you...

If you ever had the chance,
Would you make your life seem right?
Or would you only hold it back,
The good times, the hard, and the bad.
Whatever you say is alright,
Just as long as there's no doubt.
Could you look me in the eye
and say hopes died?

If time could stop, how could I make this more poetic?
When there's nothing more pathetic to be said

You bring me out, show me light,
I'm sorry if I hide, I'm too afraid to look inside.
You carry truth, and make me smile.
If there were you and me tonight,
I would tame the stars and save the brightest one for you.

Our wish,
Each time,
Keeps me returning to you,
Night after night
Lift me up as high as the clouds that won the sky,
For you and I

You bring me out, show me light,
I'm sorry if I hide, I'm too afraid to look inside.
You carry truth, and make me smile,
If there were you and me tonight,
I would tame the stars and save the brightest one for you

You bring me out, show me light,
I'm sorry if I hide, I'm too afraid to look inside
You carry truth, and make me smile
If there were you and me tonight,
I would tame the stars and save the brightest one for you,
For you...

Q!

Dua sore yang lalu gue dapat sms dari temen SMP, ganjil kalo menurut gue sih, isinya cuma gini : "Ibeth, kpn nikahnya?" . Pas pertama baca, langsung muter mata dan bilang "ya elaaah".  Apa sih maksudnya? Penting banget. Agak kesel, mengingat anak ini juga pernah out of the blue, nelp pagi-pagi, ga babibu, nanya pertama : Beth, kapan itu? (dengan penekanan pada itu)…..jiaaaaah. Gue yang pagi itu masih oon, ga dong maksudnya, jadi cuma jawab "apaan?kerja? iya ntar lagi, lagi siap-siap". Dianya jawab "bukaaan, bukan kerja, ituuu" .  Baru deh ngeh kalo yang dimaksud itu nikah. Cck. Cck.

Hmm.

Reaksi pertama tiap kali denger pertanyaan macem itu, rasanya keseeel. Malesin banget. Tapi lama-lama jadi rasa penasaran. Kenapa sih lo nanya itu. Dari sekian banyak hal yang bisa lo tanyain. Kenapa milih subyek: pernikahan? Dan kenapa musti lo tanya kapan?  Lalu kenapa musti nanya ke gue?  Terakhir kenapa juga nanya'nya jam 8 malem?  Satu lagi…dia ngarep gue ngejawab ga ya.

Di kepala gue jadinya nyusun cerita, mungkin dia ngarep ditanya balik, mungkin dari sms dia ngarep dapat feedback dan cuma pengantar mau curhat ke gue. Or dia emang lagi iseng. Kaya kepala gue yang suka random.

 Ah daripada rebek berandai-andai, mendingan gue nanya maksud dia nanya ya? And ill report it later.

---her answer was:  ye pengen tau aja udah nikah blm jgn2 ud nikah tapi gk ngasih tau lagi,apa ud punya anak jangan2.

And my reaction was *SIGH*

Udah ah no further commentarios ntar jadi panjaaaaaaaaaang  posting ini. Hihi.

#1

Kutanyakan, apakah kita menggantang asap?

#selfnotes

Wishlist

Seberapa domestiknya gue?ternyata MAHA. Haha.
Gue baru nyadar setelah nginget-nginget apa yang gue pengenin beberapa bulan belakangan ini:
1. Oven ...hahaha pengen nyoba resep sus keriiiing, my fave snack ever
2. Mesin jahit portable...hihi..pengen ngerjain quilt, pengen bikin tas or modifikasi macem2, bikin pita, celemek
3.1 set panci..huahahaha..yang ini bulan november udah ada. Yay
4. Kursus fondant...lucu ngeliat org bisa pada jago ngebentuk fondant jadi berbagai macam desain. Uh wow banged menurut gue. Apalagi dalam ukuran tiny winy bity gitu.

Seeeeeee? Domestik banged kaaaan? Haha. Satu-satu kita wujudkaaaan! Mari!berusahalah!!
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ade ape

Ade ape? Tiba-tiba saya pengen nikah. Hahaha. Sungguh absurd. Ok, God, if you hear me, I wanna get married now. hahahaha

Ada ada dengan kesepian?

Gumpalan awan kelabu di kepala berbatu

Malam menghisap siang, membawa ke detik tak bertuan

Riuh pekik suara di kepala di tenang yang mencekam

Speaker hitam memutar lagu yang sama, berulang

Menanyakan ada apa dengan kesepian

Buku – buku jari mengempit ragu sebatang lansing berujung asap

I don’t know how to tell you this. But I need you now.

Insomnia - The Veronicas

++gue jadi penasaran ama The Veronicas, setelah didengerin lebih bener, ternyata 1 album enak semua. Hehehe

[Whispers] Sleep Sleep Sleep

I can't sleep most of the time
Try to cancel you from my mind
Never liked you that much anyway
Got to try sleep through to saturday

Can't seem to keep my eyes shut
Can't stop to think about what what what
You said, you said to me when
I lost, I lost you again

Can't take the picture away
Gotta get me outta this day
I gotta feel the rush on my face

Im lonely, gotta look for a party
and dance with somebody tonight
Coz I'm lonely, feeling empty inside
Can't you make me feel alive

I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep
I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep

Don't look at me like that
What? You think I'm some kinda maniac
Who was asking for your opinion anyway
It's my life and you don't have a say

Gotta get, get outta this place
Can't stand to look at your face
I'm gonna get lost in the underground
I'll kill you if you follow me around

Can't take the picture away
Gotta get me outta this day
I gotta feel the rush on my face

I'm lonely, gotta look for a party
and dance with somebody tonight
Coz I'm lonely, feeling empty inside
Can't you make me feel alive

I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep
I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep

Can't sleep
Can't sleep
Can't sleep

I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep
I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep
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Penasaran of the day.

Gue masih penasaran dengan gimana caranya dua orang tuna netra having sex for the first time. Ga, gue bukannya bilang mereka ga bisa karena keterbatasannya, gue yakin banget mereka malah punya kemampuan yang sangat lebih untuk ke-4 indera yang lain. And sex is not a brainy activity.

Yang gue penasaran, how to tell them, for their 1st time encounter to put penis into vejeje. Maksud gue kalo lo buta seumur hidup, yang lo kenali adalah badan lo sendiri kan ya? Atau mereka pernah diajarin anatomi tubuh jenis kelamin lain?Atau on the 1st night ada guidenya? Iyuh ga siiiih?

Rasa penasaran gue, karena di dekat rumah di Jogja, ada pasangan tuna netra yang punya anak kandung 3. hehe.

Gue sebatas penasaran on the 1st time, gue percaya kalo untuk selanjutnya insting sudah bekerja. Apa gue musti nanya? sopan ga sih? Nanya ke SLB kali ya? aah, gue disangka pervert lagi.hihi.

Yah pokoknya rasa penasaran bertahun-tahun gue belum kejawab sampai sekarang. 

 

Oke, selanjutnya gue masih mau ngomongin penyandang tuna netra, salah seorang pengemis yang ada di Jembatan Blok A, yang biasa gue lewat.  Kebetulan jembatan ini berujung lampu merah, jadinya gue ada waktu buat observasi *halah*. Sekali waktu, gue ngeliat si pengemis tuna netra ini, lagi usaha nyalain rokok. Tapi lucunya rokoknya keciil, tipis banget, kaya kalo ngelinting ganja. Bukannya saya pernah, cuma  beberapa kali liat punya temen.  (ini mau pake gue atau saya sih. labil amet)  Gue makanya (again) penasaran buat ngeliatin. Nah yang lebih bikin penasaran lagi, rokok apakah itu...karena tiba-tiba dari kejauhan ada suara sirine mobil polisi. Dan si Bapak, langsung berdiri concat agak ngebut menuju ujung jembatan, belok kanan ke arah sungai. Terus dia nyelip di satu rongga, jongkok di situ. Hiyah. Kan. Gue makin penasaran. 5W 1H deh. Wow wih weh wuh wah + hoo. hahaha.

Sayangnya, lampu merah sudah berganti jadi hijau. Terpaksa *lagi-lagi* menelan rasa penasaran itu.

 

*makasih Tuhan saya dikasih indera lengkap, mata saya mengajak saya melihat small thing yang bikin kepala kerja. =)

 

 

 

 

 

 

--
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia ."

(Charles Schultz)

Rafting Trip, 23 Okt 2010

Ber'9. Linknya beragam.
Gue, Yeni dan Nova temen gereja
Gue, Farah dan Rai, temen maen
Gue, rina temen meng'iha
Gue, debi, tmn sma
Gue, mega, kenal dr yeni
Gue, dimas, kenal dr mega.
Hahahaha. Complicated.
Ini dunia yang sesungguhnya, indeed we are all have connection to each others.
Kali ini kita mau rafting di Citatih, sukabumi. Gue kebetulan punya 8 voucher rafting, 12km. Jadi cemplungin aja semua + 1 byr sendiri hehe.
Sekarang sih kita masih di tol ciawi eh apa bogor? Hehe
Sepertinya cuaca ceraaah. Amiiin.
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Oppie - Bidadari Badung (Album)

I am literally happy!!H.A.P.P.Y!

Googling nemu link buat nge-download albumnya Oppie  yang Bidadari Badung. YA TUHAAAAN. Hahaha. Lebay ye. Bodo.

Gue dengerin album ini kurang lebih 15 tahun yang lalu. UH WOW. Tahun 1995! gue 14 tahuuuun. haahahha.

Album ini sangat blues. I LOVE IT.

*gue kenapa ya? hihi

Gue berasa muda lagi dengerin lagu-lagunya. Bahkan gue masih inget sebagian besar lirik-liriknya. YAY.

Lagu kesukaan gue di album ini : (blues) Jangan-Jangan + Rumahku. Eh, tapi gue kayanya suka semua, karena ga ikhlas juga buat ngefast forward masing-masing lagunya.=D

Yang gue ga sukaaa adalah ternyata 15-16 Oct kemarin, Oppie abis manggung di Jakarta Blues Festival..dan dia nyanyi Jangan-Jangan. huhuhuhu. Aku ga tauuu. Aku pengen liatttt.

hhhhh.

 

Ok di album ini ada:

 

1. Bidadari Badung
2. Ingat-ingat pesan mama --> legend dong yaa?
3. Habis gelap terbitlah terang
4. Holiday sendiri
5. Andai di pantai
6. Oo oo oo
7. Bibie --> lagu buat mpus.
8. Blues "Jangan jangan" *****
9. Rumahku *****
10. Sampai tua

++++

Blues Jangan Jangan

 

Waktu hampir pagi kita masih di sini

saling cerita, dan membuka hati

2 jam sudah kita duduk di sini

nikmati malam ini dengan segelas kopi

tapi semakin lama ada rasa yang lain

aku juga heran

kenapa begini

kau perlakukanku bagai seorang putri

yang menyentuh naluri wanita yang hampir terlupakan

 

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku hanyut

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku jatuh

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku hanyut

jangan-jangan teruskan...aku ga mau jatuh cintaa.

 

 

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku hanyut

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku jatuh

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku hanyut

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku jatuh

 

jangan-jangan teruskan nanti aku hanyut

jangan-jangan teruskan...aku ga mau jatuh

ga mau jatuh ..u..u..u...cintaaaa

 

*sukaaa banget ama gitarnya. hhh.

 

Reverse Psychology

Homer's Brain: Don't you get it? You've gotta use reverse psychology.

Homer: That sounds too complicated.

Homer's Brain: OK, don't use reverse psychology.

Homer: All right, I will!

 

The Simpson. In the third season episode "Saturdays of Thunder"

 

Noted. Maybe I should mastered it first.

nietsnrebla

who is the vampire?

 

 

No Vacancy- Breathe California

Tonight I find out
Just what you are all about
I'm the one that's come looking for you
I got the bottle baby, baby, baby...
It's all for you
Showed up to the room
About 3 or 4 ladies runnin,
Runnin right out the door

We came here to party like it's goin out (x2)

Well do this the whole night
This could be what we needed
We can do what we want to
A single melody to give this meaning
This memory is making moves

We came here to party like it's goin out... of style (x3)

I'm ready to go
I got the bacardi
We got the bottle topped
Who's ready for more?
Let's start this party
We got everything you're looking for

We came to the party like it's goin out (x3)

We'll do this the whole night
This could be what we needed
We can do what we want to
A single melody to give this meaning
This memory is making moves (x2)

I see you staring my way
It's driving me crazy

Monday's Revelation

Setelah kegagalan saya ngukus Brokusju semalam. Saya memutuskan gantung loyang sementara waktu.

Huh.

Mau mengambil level lanjutan pudding aja. Hihi.

 

ps.

- ternyata saya beneran sebel ama bagian mengayak tepung. menurut saya, seperti tindakan ga penting, menunggu semua butiran tepung habis diayak.

Mending kalo terus ada berlian atau butiran emas ketinggalan. Lhah ini semua nyemplung ke adonan kok. Kenapa sih ga langsung dicemplungin aja? Heran. Bikin pegel aje.hehe.

- brokusju semalam resmi berubah nama jadi Bobanban, Bolu bantet banget.nyaaaaaaaaaaaah. #apakah ini curse dari si lulu?

 

Buat dek Tya

のTyaー消しない光のだ。
Numpang di kelas 63: Ajariiiiin bikinnyaaaa
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Gampaaang
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: 250 gr Tepung ketan item, 8btr telor,200gr gula pasir, 1 sdt baking powder,gr, vanili
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Kocok gula ama telur sampai kental dan kuning pucat *hi speed*
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Meanwhile, ayak vanili, tepung ketan ama garam
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Eh iya lupa, ada minyak gr 125ml *klo aku 100ml minyak gr, 25ml mentega yg diencerin*
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Kan lupa lagi, panasin kukusan / oven, siapkan loyang, oles minyak gr /mentega, alasi kertas roti, tp aku ga punya kertas roti, jd hajar aja
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Terus, ngupil deh
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Hehehhe
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Ga deng
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Abis itu, di adonan telur yg ud kuning pucet bgt kaya org belum makan, masukin gantian tepung ayak dan minyak goreng,aduk balik ampe rata.
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Icipin
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Dikit aja, ntr mcr
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: kalo kurang manis, bisa tambahin sedikit susu kental manis,
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Aduk rata
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Tuang ke loyang.
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: MaSukkin loyang ke oven / dandang kukusan, yah pake feeling aja
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: 30mnt kalo aku sih
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Buat ngetest, tusuk pake lidi or tusuk gigi *inget, yang baru!*, kalo ud ga ada yg lengket di lidi, berarti ud mateng
*ID* el'zedhityasmi: Yay! You're own ketan hitam cake!

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Hungover - Kesha

And now the sun is rising
Now the long walk back home (back home)
There's just so many faces,
But no one i need to know (need to know)

In the dark I can't fight it, I fake til I'm numb
But in the bright light,
I taste you on my tongue

Now the party's over
and every bodys gone
I'm left here with myself and i wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?

Even my dirty laundry
Everything just smells like you (like you)
And now my head is throbbing
Every song is out of tune
Just like you

In the dark I can't fight til it disapears
But in the daylight
I taste you in my tears

And now the party's over,
and every bodys gone
I'm left here with myself and i wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?

Now iv'e got myself looking like a mess
Standing alone trying to pretend but no,
I put up my fight
But this is it this time (time)
Cus i'm here in the end, tryin to pretend
i'm here in the end, tryin to pretend
oh, ohhh

And now the party's over,
and every bodys gone
I'm left here with myself and i wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?
x2

Ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?

I' d say FUCK! FUCK! and FUCK!
To your freakin face and I wont ever regret it.

Because your rotten breath deserve nothing good in this world.

EAT THAT! FUCK FACE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia ."
(Charles Schultz)

Thought of the week :

 

-          Addicted to 3 songs  :

Better in time (Leona Lewis &  Boyce Avenue cover version), Hungover (Ke$ha, but I like Audrey & Gamaliel cover version better), Only Exception (Paramore & Lea Michele Cover Version, uum, I like both equally).  Tapi yang paling sering gue ulang-ulang ga berhenti itu Hungover-versi Audrey & Gamal. Its so touché. Haha.

 

-          I cannot concentrate at the office for specific. I worked like a zombie or a machine without any memory. I do my things, but in 15 minutes, I can't remember what the hell I did before. Shitte. It is sucks. Because every time my bosses ask me about the job, all I did just staring at him with a blank dork face. Trying so hard to push my brain recalling the memory until its hurts. I don't like being stupid. Or lost.

-          I am feeling in between. It is not that I am having that kind of bipolar mood disorder. But it does, sometimes I snapped at once on people but on the next moment I can laugh at the person reaction by my act. Right now, I tend to do something with rules, so I don't have to think, because I can't think. It's so frustrating, when I cannot recall information's that being held on the back of my head. I know I have the knowledges, but I can't recall it. It makes the situation double sucks.

So, that's one of the reasons why I'm developing my cooking hobby. I try to control my anxieties.

The recipe has the rules. And it is easy to be followed. I can do it in autopilot. I don't have to feel or think. Furthermore, it pleased people. It pleased the others.  I can gain my confidence by the appraisal I got from the baking.

Sigh.I need to do something with this. I have to. It's not right.

 

 

Please don't turn me on - Artful Dodger

Mmm-hmm
I mean it (I mean it)
Don't say it, babe (don't say it, babe)
Hear me now now
Said ah, please don't turn me on
No, no listen, listen
Baby, won't you keep your distance
You're getting too close to me
I've been feeling my resistance
Melting away
But she said she wouldn't mind
If I spent a little time
Said you were a friend of mine
She could trust me out of sight

Now two bottles later on
And I think I stayed too long
I forget where I belong
Saying please don't turn me on

It's getting late I know I should be gone
Don't push me 'cos I'm not that strong (no, no, no, no)
You can never make it right from wrong (no, no, no, no)
Please don't touch me there
Stop playing with my mind it's not fair
When you know I've got another who cares
And she's waiting for me somewhere out there, yeah

Don't say my love is too familiar (aaww)
'Cos she's everything to me
Don't say what she don't know won't kill her (ooh)
I'm playing away
Put your hands where I can see
Baby, you know what I mean
'Cos you're looking good to me
And you know I feel the heat
As you button up your dress
And I wake up in your bed
With a head full of regrets
Saying please don't turn me on

It's getting late I know I should be gone
Don't push me 'cos I'm not that strong (no, no, no, no)
You can never make it right from wrong (no, no, no, no)
Please don't touch me there
Stop playing with my mind it's not fair
When you know I've got another who cares
And she's waiting for me somewhere out there, yeah

Don't want to lose the love I have
'Cos once it's gone can't take it back
You know that I want to
Don't matter what I hear you say
I see the look that's in your eyes (no, no)
Please don't turn me on

It's getting late I know I should be gone (I should be gone)
Don't push me 'cos I'm not (I'm not) that strong
(I'm not that strong, baby)
You can never make it right from wrong (and oh)
Please don't touch me there
Stop playing with my mind it's not fair (oh no)
When you know I've got another who cares
(She cares about me)
And she's waiting for me (and she loves me)
Somewhere out there (and she needs me)

Please don't turn me on
It's getting late I know I should be gone
(You know I should be gone)
Don't push me 'cos I'm not that strong
(I'm not that strong)
You can never make it right from wrong (from wrong)
Please don't touch me there (touch me there)
Stop playing with my mind it's not fair

 

*ngangguk ngangguk geleng geleng naik turun bahu goyang goyang tangan*...tareeeek maaaang. hihihi

SBB-Sindrom benci blekberi

Sebenernya nyeseeeel bangged beli bleketek ini. Udah lemod, oon, internrt juga kacrrut, tampilan web bapuk, bbm juga annoying kadang.
Menang cuma di bbm doang, yang juga ga sebegitunya buat saya.

Grouping'nya sih emang ngebantu
buat kerja tim saya, karena ga mungkin bisa menghindar dengan alasan tidak sampai, or ga kebaca, karena ada notifikasinya.hehe.
Tapi beneran kehilangan privacy, org bisa semaunya ngirim broadcast dan memonitor. Ga bisa sign out dari bbm.

Dari 3 hari pertama beli,saya udah bosen banged, ga ada yang menarik. Bahkan ironisnya, langganan internetnya malah jaraaaang saya pake, karena perasaan gondok setiap buka web yang masyarakaaaaaaat, lemot abez. Ada jeda per page yg ga bisa ditoleraansi karena hape saya yang udah udzur itu pun jauh lebih gesit dan lebih user friendly.
Oh iya, ini salah satu yang ajaib. Kita musti rajin ngerefresh hape. Beberapa hari sekali cabut battere. Jiaaaah. Hengpon saya yang dulu fungsinya juga sama persis dengan bb(minus bbm tentunya), tapi ga perlu thu nyabut2 battere or clearing memory.

Yang paling katro,ga ada fasilitas mark several and delete!! Man! Hengpon standard gopekan juga ada kaliii. Sinting. Kalo mau ngapuS apa2 musti satu-satu. Del enter. Del enter.
Gitu terus ampe jempol cantengan.

Kamera?hhh. Ga usah dibahas. Suara? Apalagiiii. Belum kalo mau ganti bb sama juga ganti pin yang juga sama dengan ganti identitas + update contact. Rebek.

Huh. Tapi terikat kontrak pada diri sendiri. Kalo blm setahun, tidak ada alasan. You got what you got. Jangan impulsif, buat pelajaran, lain kali jangan napsu. Pikir yang bener.
Hhh. Jadiiiiiiiii be a grown up. Jangan ngomel aje. Hadapi resikomu, nak.

Ya Tuhan, kalau boleh saya pengen punya hape android. Amiiin. Hihi
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ssssssssh. Silent.
The dragon is sleeping.

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Souvenirs

Yay!minggu ini dapat 3 souvenir dari teman-teman, dari Mesir, Padang dan Bukit Tinggi. Thank you for thinking of me ^^.
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Midnite anxiety

This iS how I identified anxieties attacks, like what I did just now. I am fixing a breakfast meal for the kids in the middle of the night.
Sosis sapi dililit mi. Easy job. Sosis sapi dibagi tiga bagian, terus diperkecil lagi. Meanwhile, rebus mi instan, ga usah sampai lodoh. Buang air panas rebusan mi,siram mi pake air suhu normal, supaya ga lengket satu sama lain. Masukkan bumbu instan ke dalam mangkok mi, aduk rata. Ambil sosis, lilitkan mi di tengah sosis. Selesaikan. Finitto.
Jadi deh. Masukkin kulkas, besok tinggal digoreng. The kids loves it.

Another hints of the anxieties is I am blogging. Hihi


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Isn't romantic?

All alone @burger and grill, kalimalang. Lebaran day 3. Abis dari karawang, naik motor. Suara geledek, angin sembribbit *bhs apaan thu*, distance chats.
Me and a book.
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Blog for me

Habis jalan-jalan ke Friendster, ngebacain blog lama …nyengir-nyengir sendiri, kangen nulis hal-hal simple lagi. Nulis ga berbeban *emang sekarang berbeban?heheheh*

Blog buat gue udah kaya keranjang sampah plus rekaman kejadian di hidup gue 5 tahun belakangan ini, eh gue ngeblog dari bulan April 2005 lho. Lama ya bok. Di blog friendster tercatat ada 470 post, dari April 2005 – Desember 2008. Tahun berikutnya gue nulis di media lain =). 2009 mulai nulis disini.

Emosi dan mental gue berkembang barengan ama blog, every writing is personal for me. Dengan tulisan, gue inget apa aja yang ada di hidup gue. Gue kesel ama siapa, lagi deket ama siapa, what’s inside my head, gimana cara pandang gue akan satu dan banyak hal.

Setiap gue flashback ke tulisan-tulisan yang lama, gue suka takjub dan malu, menyadari betapa naifnya gue. Atau kaget sendiri kok gue bisa se’wise itu (hoek) haha. Acceptance dari reminiscing itu menarik. Kalo gue balik ke masa gue lagi dapat rejeki atau kesusahan, dua-duanya bikin gue nyengir. See, life is never flat, but I am survived till this day.

Gue baru nyadar lagi, gue cintaaaa nulis – nulis. Walaupun sekedar menye-menye. Hell. The biggest fan of my blog is I. It’s a treasure. hehehe

Impulsif bener

this is weird. 4 hari ini gue ga berhenti klutikan tengah malem di dapur.

Jumat, rhum ball.
Sabtu , rhum ball
Minggu, rhum ball plus ager2 , 3 loyang
Senin, Ager santen + janagel

Semalem kalo ga inget ada setrikaan, udah mau jalan ke AlfaMart depan rumah, mau bikin puding. hihi.

Gue kenapa ya? Biasanya impulsif begini kalo lagi mo dapet. Beberapa bulan lalu, gue kecanduan daur ulang barang-barang. Mulai dari bikin paper bag dari berbagai macam pembungkus, celengan dari botol aqua, cincin dari keyboard bekas yang gue bongkar, tas dari celana jeans bekas gue, tas dari kaos gue, modifikasi kaos gue jadi baju buat Bella, keponakan gue yang umurnya 5 th, bikin handphone+ipod pouch, paper bowls buat keeping small stuffs.
Gue semingguan lebih ga berhenti tiap malam bikin sesuatu. Mata gue ijo aja ngeliat barang bekas, gue bisa apain ya,dibikin apa ya..hihi.
Yang belum kesampaian bikin tas dari fused plastic /plastik pembungkus detergent, softener, dkk
Waktu itu kiblat gue : www.instructables.com dan www.cutoutandkeep.com

Sekarang lagi hobby ngulik resep, tapi nyarinya yang gampang, cepat dan murah hehehe.
Kursus masak apa jahit ya?

Ya Udah - Bistro

Waktu pertama kali denger Ya-Udah Bistro, gue terlibat percakapan absurd dengan teman gue.

Rai : Cuy, makan yuk, pengen sosis deh
Gue : Yuk, dimana
Rai : ya udah'
Gue : Iyeee, dimana?
Rai : YA UDAAAH
Gue : *mulai bete* dimana buuuu
Rai : Astaga, ya udah bistrooo.
Gue : Iya, ayoook, dimana tapi? *kesel, ngajakin makan tapi ga jelas*
Rai : hahahaha.
Gue : monyieed. malah ketawa. Di mana?
Rai : namanya emang YA UDAH tauuuk, di Wahid Hasyim.
Gue : Hahahaha. Ngomong dong dari tadiii.
Rai : yeeeee.Dari tadi juga udah ngomongg.

Hihi.

Tapi gue ga jadi kesana ama Rai, tapi malah ama MiPart.
Bingung gitu pertama nyarinya. Sempet nelpon Rai, nanya dimana, cuma dapat ancer2, Wahid Hasyim ujung, ada tulisan Ya Udah Bistro warna kuning gonjreng.

Kita pas nelpon udah di Wahid Hasyim paling ujung, bolak balik. Kalo setrikaan udah dapat sekeranjang kali (iye lebay.hihi). Ternyata pas nengok kanan. Ya ampuuuun, kita udah lewatin ada kali 5 kali!! haha. Secara emang udah lapar dan niat banget lunch kesorean disana.

Jadi modelnya kaya resto dengan bukaan teras gitu. Macem di Jalan Jaksa, cuma ini gedean. Kita milih di luar, kebetulan Jakarta lagi ga panas dan menjelang sore gitu.
aaaargh, sayang sekali gue lupa waktu itu kita milih apa. (niat ga siiiih buat nge-review cooong. hihi)

Pokoknya ini yang gue inget :
- sosisnya gedhe banget (haha) dan enaaak
- rasanya eropa banget (agak kurang spicy untuk lidah pribumi gue)
- pelayannya agak2 eksotis (mbak2 muda dari kampong yang berusaha ngikutin trend ibukota, mungkin buat menarik pelanggan foreigners yang emang banyak disitu)
- waktu itu kita agak terganggu karena jalanan lagi rame banget. hhh. (salah sendiri milih di teras)
- kalo mau dinilai: 3,5 out of 5 stars.

Gue pengen makan sosiiiiis geliiii...hihi

Eh iya, web resto mereka interaktif banget lho, bahkan ada rubrik blognya yang very witty and oh yeah sarcastic, just like my favorite readings. hihi.

Because life is a journey

Salah banget kalo lo ga pernah iri ama hidup orang, tapi salah banget juga kalo rasa iri lo bikin lo mau mati.

Think twice.

Apa yang orang lain alami dan tampak menyenangkan di mata lo, belum tentu begitu buat yang ngejalani.

Lihat lagi ke dalam. Lihat apa yang udah lo kerjain, yang udah lo capai, apa yang lo rasain. Jangan cuma berpatokan pada hasil, tilik dan pegang prosesnya.

Buat gue, walaupun jaman-jaman dulu sempet susah, but it makes who I become right now. 

Gue bangga sekarang punya koleksi buku banyak karena hobi gue yang juga "terbantu" keadaan.

Dulu waktu gue SMP, dengan uang jajan pas-pasan, kalau pulang cepet, buat membunuh waktu gue biasanya nyangkut di Perpus Daerah / Balai Pustaka di Gunung Sahari atau nyangkut di pasar buku bekas di Senen atau di Bendungan Jago.

Buku itu temen yang paling oke, karena dia bisa membawa gue ke tempat-tempat jauh yang belum bisa  gue jangkau, belajar budaya, belajar bahasa, mengenal emosi. You won't be lonely with a book in your hand. =)

Gue ga takut bilang gue pinter. I am smart. Kalau gue ga end up di kantor yang bonafid or gue ga dapat beasiswa dimana gitu. Maybe it's just my path.

It's not because I'm not good enough, mungkin emang gue males ngejar kesempatan or  mungkin kesempatan itu  memang bukan buat gue.

Tapi itu ga mengurangi sama sekali fun'nya hidup gue, ga mengurangi rasa bersyukur gue untuk semua yang udah gue capai dengan darah dan air mata *mewek, bibir geter2*.

I've learnt a lot. Perasaan envy bisa ngebunuh atau bikin lo terus hidup. Cuma elo yang bisa ngontrol.

Inget, in some points, you are luckier than others. And that's how the universe goes.

Here is my list , what  I think  makes me luckier than others:

-          I have a good health records , komplit dengan segala indera dan anggota tubuh (kecuali rambut..yang…hhh… ya sudahlah ya)

-          I have no carries – selalu dipuji jika ke dokter Gigi

-          Gue ga rabies. Hihi.

-          Pernah naik motor ke Sukabumi, berani naik motor tengah malem dari Karawang pp.

-          Bisa bikin pudding, rhum ball dan tumisan. (Am I lucky by doing it? Oh yes I am. Mean all of my senses is working)

-          I can read, I am educated and during my Junior& Senior High almost of it on Scholarship, I paid my own tuition.

-          I can work like a mule if I want to.  (22 hrs a day? Bet I will)

-          I eat 3xmeals per day, every single day in my life.

-          I always have clothes to wear.

-          I always find a way to solve my financial problems (Tuhan itu Baaaaaaaaaaiiiiik banget, umatnya juga)

-          I have siblings plus the drama

-          I have parents and huge dramatic family

-          I always have someone telling me that they love me no matter what.

-          I have experiences that I bet none of you ever experienced. *jiaaah*

-          I never lacked of friendship

-          I can dance (awkward one), I can sing (hahaha), I can  write (of course, since I can read), I can draw (beyond your imagination,  I am a Picasso incarnation hihi)

-          I have a good emotional balance (yeahrightykiddo)

-          I pursue the happiness – on small things.

-          I live the life and dan list ini akan terus bertambah seiring umur gue nambah.

I always want a happy life. And I am living on it now. YEAH. What about you?